Recently i came to know that i m going to be a mother soon, i felt nothing i was numb, i am a total filmi person , watched so many films and wen this news comes in films heroines are so excited they are on the top of the world , but it didint happened to me infact i was surprised and afraid too, i dont know why , suddenly i fet my all freedom will be gone , i wont be able to do things in my own way bla bla bla .... all kinds of questions starting popping up in my mind.

Doc tod me congratulations and i said in a very casual way thanks , my husband was so happy so excited , it was both of our decision to start a family but them why i wasnt happy , dont know? Me was totally confused and afraid.I was quite , my inlaws ,they were at home at that time , wen we cme back from doc , they were also happy , everybody was happy but not me.They (my inlaws) were having next day flight back to India, that night my mother in law gave me a lecture of do's and dont's , i kept quite and listened to all of them. I didint talked to my husband that whole night and next day also,was so afraid and tensed, how everything going to happen , what i will do etc , will everything be fine or not.

My greatest strenght my sis (elder) was also not at her home as i can talk to her , bcoz she herself delivered a baby boy recently and was at her mother in law, in the meantime my condition and all effects of becoming mom , started creeping in....

Then my husband came and started talking to me , that everything will be fine and we will be happy, it was a decision of ours and godis with us , nothing will happen wrong , that day i felt little better. and then after few days my sis returned from hospital i talked to her and she also told me the same thing it is right time for you as you are growing older also, i was convinced and felt good.

Just wanted to share this , bcoa wanted to know does it happen with everybosy or i m the one who is feeling afraid of what will happen etc.

Life , one simple word and so many meanings , different people ,different meanings. For some life is their family , some might be their freedom , friends means life to some and for some money may be the life i.e no money no life . And Death what does it mean to people , this word has only one meaning for everybody and that is end of life. But what happens wen this life comes to an end .

Recently , about 2-3 months back i received news from one of my friend, that one of our common friend was sick  . I felt bad for her , and just prayed that her sickness ends quickly. After a while i thought that she might have recovered and again started her usual day to day life again.

Then again one day , while chatting with my friend i came to kmw she is very ill and her condition is critical , doctors had given up the hope . Now nothing can be done for her . I just thought somrthing might happen , some miracle . But the very next day i got news she passed away . I couldnt believe my ears , we worked together for almost 3-4 years , used to hangout together , gossip , and now she is no more . I was far away couldnt meet her also before . Felt like crying . Why god did this , or he doesn't want her to be in this world like hell. But why this happened . U must be thinking why i am writing all this , but i was just wondering there is a small gap between ou life and death , nobody knws wen its going to come.

Anybody who u know, might leave u the second moment.  We all are so busy in making our life better and comfortable that we just forget to enjoy it . The gap between life and death can finish anytime .

Loved ones , what does that mean , two small words but contains too much , two powerful words , includes everything , everyone u love or like . isnt that so.

We sit and we type,
and we stare at our screens...
We all have to wonder
what this possibly means.

With our mouse we roam
through the rooms in a maze,
Looking for something or someone,
as we sit in a daze.

We chat with each other,
we type all our woes...
Small groups we do form,
and gang up on our foes.

We wait for somebody
to type out our name...
We want recognition,
but it's always the same.

We give kisses and hugs,
and sometimes flirt...
In IM's we chat deeply and
reveal why we hurt.

We do form friendships,
but why we don't know...
But some of these friendships,
will flourish and grow.

Why is it on screen
we can be so bold,
Telling our secrets that
have never been told.

Why is it we share
the thoughts in our mind
With those we can't see,
as though we were blind.

The answer is simple,
it is as clear as a bell.
We all have our problems
and need someone to tell.

We can't tell real people,
but tell someone we must...
So we turn to the 'puter
and to those we can trust.

Everything change , nothing remains the same after marraige , i got married just 6 months back and my entire world changed suddenly ,unable to understand first , then i realised the everything is changing. its okay that there are some changes but at the same time u lose ur freedom also. Earlier mom dad never asked where are u going , what r u doing and nw for going outside the house u have to take several permissions , before for night parties not late night parties u just have to tell ur parents but after marraige nite and that too offical ones becomes an issue. Always u are taught the lessons of being a good wife and good daughter in law , life becomes boring and dull , ur world just remains inside those four walls , and u spent time by looking at the same person face. U r told u have to do this u have to do that , why so , u become frustrated and feel lonely .

This is happening to me right nw and dont understand how to tacle this , me is lost somewhere and the one who is surviving issomebody's wife not me . My space , my own space is lost.